In case you were wondering

Hello, blogland! My apologies for the inconsistency in my posting habits but really, I'm not that sorry. 

I've realized that I don't really care a terrible amount about blogging. I have maintained this blog for over one year now and honestly, I don't know where it's gotten me. I do take more pictures than before, and maybe I wouldn't have worked so hard to get photography into my class schedule this past year but maybe I would have. I've met a few really nice people but largely my blogging experience is disappointing. I've realized however, that this is because I put real life before blogging. 

That's right, folks. This is not my first priority. I have a great desire to share art with the world, and maybe even some insight should I find any along the way but I simply can't compete with all of these fashion and beauty blogs with 23409234093 followers and professional cameras and a whole production team, ect. 

I realize my posts as of late have taken a more somber tone but I've found that Summer is usually a time of discontent for me. I'm not really sure why this is other than I realize more what is out there in the world and this summer in particular, I don't know where I stand in the world.

I did things "right" in life. I grew up going to church, did a lot of volunteer work, I struggled with grades in High School but I still got my BA in 4 years (2 at a CC and 2 at a Univ.), I've held a job more or less consistently for the last 4 years. Now I have done the most radical thing I've ever done, I did the unexpected, I decided to take some time off for me. 

I know, this is actually really normal. 

However, I've been planning on finishing a BA and an MA or MS in 6 years total since I graduated High School. Now to think that this is going to take time and that I might actually end up working at JC Penney for the next year is honestly terrifying. Nothing against my new job, in fact I really like it. The people I work with are nice, the location is close to home and the products are fantastic. However, this is NOT part of the plan. 

The plan was to get a summer job and then go to grad school in the fall but I just could not handle the application process while I was in school. I put off working on my personal statement and taking the GRE because I was scared. Not that I would fail though. I was scared that I would succeed. 

I still am planning to look for more "grown up" jobs and such but if I don't find one that means being in Salinas for another year which I equate with failure and this is frightening. I hope that you all, whomever you may be, will say a little prayer for me. A prayer of guidance, of support, of peace in figuring out who I am and who God wants me to be.

If you survived all of that you deserve some pretty pictures.

 Nick's birthday!

Mini golfing in SC

Par is 28(roughly) Stephanie has 42 (roughly).

Amazing mocha Nick had on our SC date.

Some of our dear friends got MARRIED last weekend!!! So much celebrating! Nick and I patiently waiting to toast and be fed. It was worth the wait, good champagne and good food. Oh, and well, I guess the fact that our friends get to embark on this incredible new journey is okay too. 

Thanks for bearing with me as I work on figuring out who I am, guys. I'll try to share more pretty pictures with you. 

"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds,  for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness."-James 1:2-3 (ESV)